Have you got a big date lined up? Have you thought about what you’re going to say? Don’t clam up - read these ten top first date questions from EliteSingles
So, you’ve joined our site and started to see your matches. But how can you make sure that they as captured with your presence as you are with theirs? It’s all about knowing how to write a profile that commands attention! Indeed, to really get the most out of online dating, your profile needs to be polished.
In order to find out the best profile writing tips, we talked to real EliteSingles members about the kind of love they’re looking for1 (after all, who better to comment on our members’ wants and wishes than our users themselves?).
The quest for the perfect profile
1. Play coy!
We asked 1,000 singles from Canada, New Zealand, Australia, the United Kingdom, Ireland and South Africa about what their biggest profile turn-off was. The answers were a little surprising, particularly when you just look at the Canadian replies!
Avoid: Sexual Innuendo
Turn-offs differ around the world, at least according to our users. While the most despised trait in the UK was poor spelling, and negativity topped the no-go list in New Zealand, the biggest online profile no-no in Canada was excessive sexual innuendo. Indeed, 28 per cent of our Canadian members voted it the biggest profile mistake, edging out negativity (24 per cent), insufficient profile description (14 per cent), narcissism (14 per cent), poor spelling (13 per cent) and clichés (10 per cent). Don’t be an example of a dating profile gone bad. Keep it smut-free.
Embrace: Staying classy
EliteSingles Partner Psychologist, Relationship Coach Sam Owen, agrees that too much innuendo can send the wrong idea. She says that this is because profiles with too many winks and nudges ‘‘tend to suggest immaturity or that you’re only interested in the sexual aspect of meeting someone, not in forming a relationship.” She goes on to point out that it is simply a matter of appealing to your target market: ”if you’re on a site such as EliteSingles, you’re going to alienate the majority of users, once again, helping ensure people skip past your profile.”
2. Say cheese
Profile pictures are an important part of online dating and it’s not a matter of people being superficial: it’s in our human nature to want to connect with people that seem real and tangible. So don’t shy away when it comes to uploading a photo of yourself.
Avoid: Coming across as camera shy
In fact, 50 per cent of Canadian respondents wouldn’t even open a profile that was devoid of photos. This means that, if you choose anonymity, you are alienating nearly half of your potential suitors – definitely behavior to avoid! Owen suggests that the reason so many people prefer seeing photos is because ‘’If you haven’t got a photo attached it makes it really hard for other online daters to connect with you as another human being.’’ This is partly due to the fact that ‘’we build up an idea of a person’s personality by looking at their photo.’’3
Embrace: Being picture perfect
It does seem that visuals are vital to online dating, with 51 per cent of Canadians rating the photo as the one thing that they look most closely at in a profile (a trend echoed in every single country we surveyed). Of course, simply having a pic is not enough: those who tend to top the nice list also avoid the most common photo mistakes. In Canada these include having a photo that is too revealing (chosen as the biggest no-no by 32 per cent), wearing sunglasses (17 per cent), presenting a photo that is poorly photo-shopped (14 per cent) and being in too many party pictures (11 per cent). And, interestingly, the much-maligned selfie was not as hated as its reputation would suggest, being picked by just 7 per cent of our members.
READ MORE: Convinced that you need a profile photo? Learn how to take perfect profile pictures here!
3. Write a profile that reveals the real you
While it can be so tempting to write a profile that includes a few well-meant fibs, here’s the thing – it can’t last. Once you meet in person any sweet little lies are going to get rumbled. In fact, you’ll soon find that telling porkies is one of the quickest routes to the naughty corner, especially according to EliteSingles members.
Avoid: Little white lies
With so many of our members looking for true love, it’s really little wonder that fibbing is so frowned upon. Whether it is in a profile, a message or even on a date, if you’re caught out in an obvious lie it is unlikely to endear you to someone new. In fact, 81% of our Canadian respondents would disapprove if someone turned up to a date looking different from their profile. Furthermore, 66% of Canadians wouldn’t even consider a relationship with someone who embellished themselves! In other words, it pays to stay honest.
Embrace: Keeping it real
Owen agrees that real is best, pointing out that ‘your online profile is there to help those you’re matched with find out who you genuinely are.’4 If we were going to get a little sentimental we would say this: a big part of the EliteSingles experience is finding someone who is going to fall for you – the real you. If you opt for untruths, you don’t give anyone that chance. In other words, don’t let little lies get in the way of finding true love: when it is time to write a profile, make a vow to be honest. It really is the best policy.
EliteSingles editorial, September 2015
If you have any questions about the survey results or want more information on how to write a profile, please comment below or email us at [email protected]
For technical profile help, please contact our Customer Care team.
1 All percentages based on a survey of 1,000 EliteSingles members from Canada, New Zealand, Australia, the United Kingdom, Ireland and South Africa. Statistics may not equal 100% due to rounding and multiple choice answers.
2 Interview with Sam Owen for No 1. Magazine, November 2014
3 EliteSingles interview with Sam Owen, October 2014.
4 As above