Trust is an essential part of any love story - but just how do you build trust in a relationship? EliteSingles psychologist Salama Marine told us the five steps that…
At EliteSingles, we support your search for love by providing you with great relationship advice; including the latest dating studies, our own research and insights from the experts. One of the experts we work the most closely with is our EliteSingles psychologist, Salama Marine.
We chatted with Salama to find out why she is so passionate about supporting the search for love, about how online dating is the future of romance and about how you can make the most of your time online.
Hi Salama, can you tell us a little about yourself?
I’m Salama Marine, I am 29 and I’m a psychologist. I received my Master’s degree in France, from the Paris College of Psychological Practioners. I’ve spent the last three years working with people who are looking for love: people who have questions about their single life or about building healthy relationships.
I’ve also specialized in the area of online dating and work today on all questions related to that. For example, people can consult me if they want to be coached on how to change their single status, whether that involves simply knowing where to start or whether it is something like learning how to get over an ex.
How long have you been working with EliteSingles?
For the last few years I’ve been working closely with EliteSingles to write advice articles about online dating and the search for a partner; articles that are free to read for all Canadians who have questions about love, online dating etc.
I’ve also helped create many interesting studies; anonymously surveying EliteSingles members in order to understand more about what singles today expect from their relationships and allowing us all to get a clearer picture of love in the digital age.
READ MORE: Do your relationship expectations measure up to reality? Find out here.
Why did you choose EliteSingles?
EliteSingles is a serious dating website which caters for men and women who are looking for real love and lasting relationships. This commitment to seriousness is my chief motivation, as I think it’s essential that singles who register on a dating website in the hope of finding lasting love have the right support. I want to offer the right relationship advice to help guide them to success.
Why are you interested by online dating in particular?
When we look at the state of relationships today, its seems to be clear that we are entering into a new era. Couples just don’t meet like before; busy work schedules and modern life have put paid to that! What’s more, the rules and codes of dating have themselves changed, with previously stigmatized matchmaking platforms (such as online dating) becoming increasingly popular.
Indeed, online dating has increasingly taken a primary role in the search for a loving partner, to the extent that, in a few years, this dating mode may well be the most important. This why I am so interested in studying and understanding online dating mechanisms – I don’t think it’s long until it will be the norm in our society. In fact, some studies show that online dating’s popularity is already a trend: with more people meeting on dating sites or apps than in real life.1
What kind of support do you provide to EliteSingles members?
Principally, I aim to provide advice and research that could lead a single person towards their ideal partner: after all, we all know that building a great relationship requires a bit of help now and then! I’m here to listen to member’s requests and to answer them by writing regular articles and giving personalized advice. I want EliteSingles members to be able to move forward serenely (and successfully!) in their quest for love.
READ MORE: What 4 things do you need to know if you’re on a quest to find love? Discover more here.
What are your top three tips for people looking for love online with EliteSingles?
1. Be yourself!
You don’t need to pretend to be someone else online: for true love, use your own personality. After all, if you are looking for a serious relationship it is best to present yourself as you really are –otherwise how can you be sure that your partner has fallen for you and not the fantasy?
2. Create desire
Do not reveal everything about yourself in your profile or even in your first messages! Take your time to discover each other online, and make sure to leave a little mystery. If you leave him/her wanting more, he/she will be really curious to meet you in real life.
3. Learn from your past
Think about your previous relationships – about what worked and what didn’t. This will help you be precise with what you want from your next partner. In your profile description (and when you fill in any personality tests or related questions), say exactly what you do and don’t want. You may not attract everybody that way, but those who do say hello are more likely to be right for you!
1 Christine Erickson, writing for Mashable, 2014. The biggest online dating myths that are ruining your love life. Found at http://mashable.com/2015/02/04/date-of-the-union/#:eyJzIjoidCIsImkiOiJfMW82ZWpiNTZqaTZsaGp0biJ9