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When thinking about love, it’s only natural to ask yourself ‘am I ready for a relationship?’ Serious commitment warrants serious thought and being relationship-ready is so much more than circumstantial: you need to be emotionally ready too. It’s all about making peace with the past, feeling happy in the present and being prepared for a shared future…
If you’re seeking a lasting, loving match, a good starting point is introspection; a thinking period that will tell you what you need and want from a serious relationship.
- Ready to start the process? Get into the right mindset by learning more about our EliteSingles personality test
Ultimately, only you can decide the truth but if you’re spending too much time wondering ‘am I ready for a relationship?,’ then there are some hints and tips that might help you reach a conclusion. We’ve prepared an insightful quiz and an in-depth guide to help you know if you’re truly ready for a relationship:
Three steps to help you get ready for a relationship
Step one: deal with the past
We all have a relationship history. Whether you’re divorced, separated, widowed or bereaved, or you’ve merely suffered through a break-up, the pain of past relationships can take its toll. When you ask ‘am I ready for a relationship?’ your first question should really be ‘how much is my relationship past affecting my present life?’
The past is the past, and you have to leave it there. Make sure you’ve left a suitable amount of time between your last relationship and your new one. And yes, sadly, only you can know how long that is! If you still find yourself dwelling on your own misgivings about your ex, don’t do your future relationship the injustice of bringing that baggage with you. Get rid of it first.
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Step two: take care of your own needs first
Focus on you for a moment: to be ready for a relationship you need to be in a stable position in your life and this means being comfortable in your own skin. It’s a bit of a cliché, but it’s true: you need to feel happy as a single person before you can be happy in a relationship.
If you feel like you need a relationship to complete you, or feel all your problems will be solved when you find a partner, then you’re not ready for a relationship. If, however, you ask yourself ‘am I happy by myself?’ and the answer is yes, then chances are your answer to ‘am I ready for a relationship?’ will be the same!
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But being ready for a relationship is more than just being happy. Relationship writer James Michael Sama reminds us that ‘it’s difficult to plan a future with someone who has no future plans for themselves.’1 It’s good to have your own life goals; not only will they make you more attractive to a potential partner, but ambition also helps to focus you on your priorities. Once you have these set, you’ll know exactly what kind of relationship you want, and the sort of person you’ll want it with too.
Ideally you should have lots of interests outside of your work and family life because – even when you are eventually in a relationship – it’s important to indulge your own individuality. Our advice is this: your social life matters – your friends, your hobbies, these are the things that make you you. There’s nothing more important to your search for lasting love, so before you start dating take the time to enjoy your own company and the things that you love doing.
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Step three: ask ‘am I ready for a relationship of compromise?’
The final way of knowing if you’re ready for a relationship is whether you can picture yourself in one – warts and all. Accepting someone new into your life requires an open mind and a generous spirit. No matter how compatible you and your future partner are, you will have occasional petty grievances. They might do things that annoy you. You will have arguments.
Happiness in a relationship roughly equates to how willing you are to accept someone for who they are. If you deserve to be adored just the way you are, then so does your partner! Relationship, after all, is a byword for mutual openness, honesty and understanding.
Are you ready for compromise too? Relationship expert Evan Marc Katz writes ‘you don’t have to lose yourself in a partnership, but you do have to be willing to give a LOT to be a worthy partner.’2 Being in a serious relationship relies on your ability to share your life, to the point where you won’t know where your life ends and theirs begins. Are you thrilled by the prospect of welcoming someone new into your life whole-heartedly – embracing their life, friends, family and everything else, and vice versa? If the answer’s yes, you’re ready.
- Still feeling nervous? Learn about stepping outside your dating comfort zone
There’s no shame in taking some more time for yourself – don’t feel pressured into finding a relationship if you aren’t ready for one. If you’re over your past, happy in your own skin and willing to accept another person for who they are, then it’s definitely the time to consider getting yourself out there and start dating!
Do you think that you’re ready for a relationship? Do you want to start meeting compatible Canadians? Sign up for EliteSingles here.
EliteSingles editorial November 2016
If you have more questions about being ready for a relationship, please comment below or contact us at [email protected]
1James Michael Sama, Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-michael-sama/10-ways-to-know-youre-rea_b_5316997.html)
2Evan Marc Katz (http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/how-do-i-know-if-im-ready-for-a-relationship/)